Doink!

[moose_mcmoose]

Ugh. I had a headache. And I was in the mood to write something a bit :-( and this was it.

Title: Ashes (thank you srsly_yes )
Characters: House/Wilson
Rating: R (one use of strong language) 
Words: 330
Disclaimer: I don't own them. A shame, as then I could buy some new jeans.
Summary: He wishes he could say it without a hint of a hesitation. Just a wee thing that's a bit :-(


He wishes he could say it without a hint of a hesitation but he can't. Not because it's not true; it most definitely is true and he knows this and feels it with every fibre of his being and with every pang in his chest. Or because he feels like an idiot for feeling this way, because he doesn't.

It's neither of those things.

It's the fear. Formed from the gritty ashes of age and experience. Formed from the pain of having everything he ever loved ripped away from him whenever he was close to being happy. His brother, torn and stripped by mental illness. Amber, whisked away by circumstance.

Formed by his own unnerving ability to jump before he was pushed. His countless wives and marriages, blown apart by acts of idiocy and self-sabotage.

He couldn't put House through this or himself for that matter. He couldn't sit, forever looking over his shoulder wondering when it would all end or stand, steadying his balance in preparation for the rug to pulled from beneath him. Because, in his mind, good things can't last. It was against nature, against anything life had taught him.

Everybody dies and everybody fucks up.

House doesn't deserve to die just because Wilson loves him. House doesn't deserve to be cheated and fucked over just because Wilson loves him.

And he knows. He knows those are the only two outcomes from this whole debacle. And he knows he'll never be prepared for the first and he will undoubtedly contribute to the second no matter how hard he pushes against it.

So for now he bites his lip and swallows those words back down his throat.

House is planted on the sofa next to him eating potato chips and nudges him as another trailer home is crushed by the back wheels of a monster truck.

Now House is spitting chips all over his shirt because House is laughing. And Wilson would like it to stay that way.

Comments

[hibernia1.livejournal.com]

Oh wow - so sad and so insightful, love it. LOVE, I tell you (and House laughing and spitting chips - *dies*). Memm'ing.

How about... "Cold Feet"? Although that's pretty lame, I guess...

[lorib12.livejournal.com]

For such a short little fic it sure told a lot!! I am suggesting as a title "Sacraficing for the Sake of Another". I really loved reading this and it really shows how alike House and Wilson are underneath all the facade. Thanks for sharing :)

[julefontane.livejournal.com]

Wilson is such a martyr - or rather masochist, silently imploding! Love chips-spitting, oblivious House. Marvelous little piece!
Glad you shared=)

[cordys-charisma.livejournal.com]

beautiful:)

[indigo-inferno.livejournal.com]

Oh god. Poor Wilson. He does strike me a bit as the self loathing type. This is an amazing little piece. ♥

[christikat.livejournal.com]

Gah, I wish House would find out what's going on inside Wilson. Thanks a lot for sharing. :)

[remydoodle.livejournal.com]

This was a great little piece. Very bittersweet.
Great Job!

[resm.livejournal.com]

I wonder if House has similar thoughts here. I loved this description: "His brother, torn and stripped by mental illness. Amber, whisked away by circumstance."

Powerful, powerful stuff! And I think you're right about Wilson, he probably has allowed the grief of these events in his life to manifest themselves into deep-seeded insecurities. Interesting. Thanks so much for the read!

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

Titles are a bitch, but I'm glad you still posted your story.

Loved this: It's the fear. Formed from the gritty ashes of age and experience. Formed from the pain of having everything he ever loved ripped away from him whenever he was close to being happy. His brother, torn and stripped by mental illness. Amber, whisked away by circumstance.

So, maybe, "Ashes" for a title or something containing the word, ash.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor Wilson...

[rividori.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. It's such a shame that sometimes there's still that hesitancy to accept and open up completely, like you wrote - the fear.

I thought this was a strong line: "Amber, whisked away by circumstance."

*mem*

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

That's a lot of great stuff in just a few words.

Everybody dies and everybody fucks up.

I love this line. I explains a lot about Wilson.

Thanks for sharing it.

[in-a-crater.livejournal.com]

Wow. Fear, in my opinion, is why nothing serious might ever happen between the two of them. And I love the image of House spitting chips all over his shirt.