Doink!

[moose_mcmoose]

Ugh. I had a headache. And I was in the mood to write something a bit :-( and this was it.

Title: Ashes (thank you srsly_yes )
Characters: House/Wilson
Rating: R (one use of strong language) 
Words: 330
Disclaimer: I don't own them. A shame, as then I could buy some new jeans.
Summary: He wishes he could say it without a hint of a hesitation. Just a wee thing that's a bit :-(


He wishes he could say it without a hint of a hesitation but he can't. Not because it's not true; it most definitely is true and he knows this and feels it with every fibre of his being and with every pang in his chest. Or because he feels like an idiot for feeling this way, because he doesn't.

It's neither of those things.

It's the fear. Formed from the gritty ashes of age and experience. Formed from the pain of having everything he ever loved ripped away from him whenever he was close to being happy. His brother, torn and stripped by mental illness. Amber, whisked away by circumstance.

Formed by his own unnerving ability to jump before he was pushed. His countless wives and marriages, blown apart by acts of idiocy and self-sabotage.

He couldn't put House through this or himself for that matter. He couldn't sit, forever looking over his shoulder wondering when it would all end or stand, steadying his balance in preparation for the rug to pulled from beneath him. Because, in his mind, good things can't last. It was against nature, against anything life had taught him.

Everybody dies and everybody fucks up.

House doesn't deserve to die just because Wilson loves him. House doesn't deserve to be cheated and fucked over just because Wilson loves him.

And he knows. He knows those are the only two outcomes from this whole debacle. And he knows he'll never be prepared for the first and he will undoubtedly contribute to the second no matter how hard he pushes against it.

So for now he bites his lip and swallows those words back down his throat.

House is planted on the sofa next to him eating potato chips and nudges him as another trailer home is crushed by the back wheels of a monster truck.

Now House is spitting chips all over his shirt because House is laughing. And Wilson would like it to stay that way.

Comments

[hibernia1.livejournal.com]

Oh wow - so sad and so insightful, love it. LOVE, I tell you (and House laughing and spitting chips - *dies*). Memm'ing.

How about... "Cold Feet"? Although that's pretty lame, I guess...

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

Oh a mem! Thanks a bunch. XD

I'm noting down the suggestions that are given and I'll see what one is best. Yours in duly noted down!

Cheers for reading and commenting you kind person :D

[lorib12.livejournal.com]

For such a short little fic it sure told a lot!! I am suggesting as a title "Sacraficing for the Sake of Another". I really loved reading this and it really shows how alike House and Wilson are underneath all the facade. Thanks for sharing :)

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

Your suggestion is also noted. Thank you :D

Yeah, I was writing away and thinking this actually sounds a bit like House but it applies well to both of them because, as you said, they are very similar in many respects.

Thanks for reading and commenting as always. XD

[julefontane.livejournal.com]

Wilson is such a martyr - or rather masochist, silently imploding! Love chips-spitting, oblivious House. Marvelous little piece!
Glad you shared=)

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

House should spit chips more often. It would make for an amusing piece of physical comedy. :D

I'm glad you enjoyed it. And, as always, a big thank you for reading and commenting XD

[cordys-charisma.livejournal.com]

beautiful:)

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

Thank you :D
Cheers for reading and commenting

[indigo-inferno.livejournal.com]

Oh god. Poor Wilson. He does strike me a bit as the self loathing type. This is an amazing little piece. ♥

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

Oh I reckon he most certainly is too. I'm glad you enjoyed it

And thanks for reading and commenting of course! XD

[christikat.livejournal.com]

Gah, I wish House would find out what's going on inside Wilson. Thanks a lot for sharing. :)

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

Oy vey, they are both as dense as each other at times.

Cheers for reading and commenting. XD

[remydoodle.livejournal.com]

This was a great little piece. Very bittersweet.
Great Job!

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

Bittersweet is the perfect word! Thanks :D

Cheers for reading and commenting XD

[resm.livejournal.com]

I wonder if House has similar thoughts here. I loved this description: "His brother, torn and stripped by mental illness. Amber, whisked away by circumstance."

Powerful, powerful stuff! And I think you're right about Wilson, he probably has allowed the grief of these events in his life to manifest themselves into deep-seeded insecurities. Interesting. Thanks so much for the read!

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

"..I wonder if House has similar thoughts here..." Now there is a thought. Hmm.

And thank you very much for reading and commenting. Much appreciated as always XD

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

Titles are a bitch, but I'm glad you still posted your story.

Loved this: It's the fear. Formed from the gritty ashes of age and experience. Formed from the pain of having everything he ever loved ripped away from him whenever he was close to being happy. His brother, torn and stripped by mental illness. Amber, whisked away by circumstance.

So, maybe, "Ashes" for a title or something containing the word, ash.

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

Yeah i was sitting for ages, reading it over and over, trying to think of a title. I nearly went boss-eyed then I just thought bugger it, I'll just post it.

I like yoursuggestion for one, though. I might actually use that. Thanks.

And thank you for reading and commenting. Glad you enjoyed it.

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

You used my suggestion! Do I win a set of fireplace tools, a monogrammed ashtray, or an urn? ;)

ETA: Dang, I always click on comment instead of reply. sorry.

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

Well...I'm feeling generous tonight. So you can choose between this lovely set of fireplace tools (http://www.bgcmonline.org/docs/bsd07_files/Auction%20Items/FireplaceTools.jpg) OR this fantastic song courtesy of Father Ted (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzYzVMcgWhg)

Which would you like?

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

lololol. Father Ted, please. And where can I buy a few yards of that beeyooteeful blue lamé?

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

The song is yours, complete with sax solo!! :D
Unfortunately my knowledge about distributors of blue lamé is sorely lacking.

[resm.livejournal.com]

Omg I love Father Ted, was watching the DVDs just last night lol!!! I have this on my iPod haha.

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

You have it on your ipod?! You're my hero. I don't think I could have it on my ipod because I can just see myself sitting on the bus and bursting into laughter when the sax solo bit comes on. Cue funny glances and shifting of seats.

[resm.livejournal.com]

Lmao, it's the both versions of My Lovely Horse. Eurovision is such a running joke over here, makes the episode better for it. I was watching the racism one last night and don't know how they got away with that sorta stuff.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor Wilson...

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

Poor Wilson indeed. The poor guy never gets a break.

Cheers for reading and commenting. Always appreciated. XD

[rividori.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. It's such a shame that sometimes there's still that hesitancy to accept and open up completely, like you wrote - the fear.

I thought this was a strong line: "Amber, whisked away by circumstance."

*mem*

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

Oh another mem! Very much appreciated.

That line took me a wee while to write I must admit. I was trying not to make it too flowery, just a sparse few words that said everything that needed to be said.

Cheers for reading and commenting XD

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

That's a lot of great stuff in just a few words.

Everybody dies and everybody fucks up.

I love this line. I explains a lot about Wilson.

Thanks for sharing it.

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

I think that line wouldn't have applied to a younger Wilson because you can see flashes of a tentative optimist hidden in there but I think life has dealt him shit hands over and over again so that optimism he once had has been eroded significantly. Though, that's just my view on it.

Glad you enjoyed it :D

And cheers for reading and commenting

[in-a-crater.livejournal.com]

Wow. Fear, in my opinion, is why nothing serious might ever happen between the two of them. And I love the image of House spitting chips all over his shirt.

[moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com]

I agree. Both have way too much emotional baggage to contend with but I guess we can always dream :D

Glad you enjoyed it. I can imagine House getting over enthused by the sight of monster trucks destroying things.

Cheers for reading and commenting XD