moose_mcmoose: (stirring manhood)
[personal profile] moose_mcmoose
Title: Careless Hands
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: House/Wilson, 
Disclaimer: They aint none o'mine. I own bugger all.
Summary: Wilson should really look where he puts his hand. Written for the Camp Sick!Wilson Fourth of July Challenge  The prompts I used were - apple pie, barbecue, burns.

 "It looks like a waffle."

"Is that a technical term?"

"No. The technical term would be a 'first degree burn caused by a clumsy moron who manages to trip over his own foot and hand plant into the barbecue' but I thought I'd shorten that down for you."

"Well thank you for your kind concern." Wilson cringed as the cool water slid over the sensitive flesh on the palm of his hand. "I didn't expect it to be that hot. I only started it five minutes ago." 

"Who would expect heat from a barbecue? You'd have to be cra-"

"Your sarcasm isn't as soothing as you think it is."

"And your idiocy isn't as endearing as you think it is." 

"Now you're just kicking a man while he's down." Wilson waggled his tender fingers, inhaling a breath through gritted teeth. "Can you get the first aid kit? There should be one in the cupboard beneath the sink." 

House leant over and plunged a hand into the darkness of the cupboard. Squinting hard, he pulled a green bag from the depths. "Why do you have three first aid kits?  Are you expecting a barrage of ailments that can be cured with Aspirin and gauze?"

"Five. I have two in the bathroom."

House creased his brows. "Why?"

"No harm in being prepared."

"There's being prepared. Then there's just being weird." House thumbed through the bag's contents, pulling out the required items. 

"Says the man with his own personal pharmacy."

House tossed the bag onto the counter top, dropping the gauze and slip of bandage next to it. "Hey, don't hate the man, hate the system. It's not my fault that I have a prescription to get high. Although, you'll probably need something for that. It's gonna sting like hell."

"I think I arrived at hell a few moments ago." Wilson turned the tap, increasing the flow of water to cool his skin. From the corner of his eye he spotted House, with several pink strips of something over his face. This is why he never let House near his first aid kits. "Will you stop fucking with the band aids? I need those."

"Oh relax. You don't need them now."

"I...I-" Wilson growled in defeat. "Just pass some anti-septic."

House duly prodded a small tube across the granite worktop.

"Well can you open it? I'm a little stuck here."

"God. You burn yourself and suddenly it's 'House do this', 'House do that.'" Petulantly, House twisted the cap and handed into Wilson's working hand. 

Wilson swiped it from his grasp, gently removing his hand from the cooling water and applying a little to the delicate skin around his fingers and palm. 

"Wilson?"

"What?"

"Have you learned anything from today?"

"Sure I have."

"Go on."

"I've learned that you're still an ass."

"And..."

"That your barbecue heats up a lot quicker than most normal barbecues."

"Anything else?"

"That I have an unhealthy obsession with pie. I already knew that."

House tossed two Ibruprofen between his hands. "Just a little unhealthy. I've never seen a man run so fast when the word 'pie' was uttered. Or fall."

Wilson shrugged.

"Seriously, if you channelled that kind of energy into your work, you might actually turn out to be a good Oncologist."

 "You really flatter me sometimes, you know that." 

"I do try."

Wilson eyed up his now bandaged right hand, and shoved the first aid kit back into the cupboard, before taking a seat on the sofa and plunging his feet onto the coffee table. House followed close behind, with an over dramatic thud announcing his arrival onto the sofa. Both men folded their arms and the air became silent.

"So..." Wilson rubbed his nose and sniffed, disguising the gentle rumble from his stomach. "Do... we....um... have any of that pie somewhere?"

House could only smile.

Date: 05/07/2010 10:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] srsly-yes.livejournal.com
What brilliant IC dialogue. David Shore should hire you to write for [H]ouse.

*mems*

Date: 06/07/2010 08:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
OH! A mem....how delightful!

Glad you enjoyed this :-) Thanks for reading and commenting, and of course, memming! WOOOT

Date: 05/07/2010 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alternatealto.livejournal.com

You've made it sound just like them! House snarking, Wilson being Wilson -- perfect. And at least it wasn't Wilson's left hand that got barbecued, poor baby.

Date: 06/07/2010 08:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
That would have just been cruel. Hehe. Still, it was sorely tempting.

Cheers for reading and commenting XD

Date: 05/07/2010 11:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arhh.livejournal.com
Poor Wilson :( But this was perfect, thanks for sharing :)

Date: 06/07/2010 08:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Glad to hear you enjoyed this!!

Thanks for reading and commenting. Much appreciated XD

Date: 06/07/2010 12:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuddyclothes.livejournal.com
That was totally IC! Perfect, loved House playing with the first aid kit. I worship Wilson and Pie!

Image

Date: 06/07/2010 08:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Where would Wilson be without his yearning for pie...

Glad you enjoyed this. Cheers for reading and commenting XD

Date: 06/07/2010 12:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yarroway.livejournal.com
Ouch!

Made me smile, too.

Date: 06/07/2010 08:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Thanks very much for reading and commenting.

Glad it made you smile :D

Date: 06/07/2010 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] menolly-au.livejournal.com
You write great banter :) The nerve of Wilson expecting House to help him deal with his burn, you'd think he was a doctor or something :)

Date: 06/07/2010 08:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Haha quite! The sheer nerve. XD

Glad you enjoyed this. Cheers for reading and commenting :)

Date: 06/07/2010 03:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] remydoodle.livejournal.com
HEHEHEHEHE That was so cute! Well, not cute because Wilson got hurt but, they're just so cute together!

Date: 06/07/2010 08:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Aw glad you hear you liked this one.

Thanks for reading and commenting XD

Date: 06/07/2010 07:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3rdgal12.livejournal.com
PIE! LOL!

"Your sarcasm isn't as soothing as you think it is."

"And your idiocy isn't as endearing as you think it is."


So classic them. Great job as always!

Date: 06/07/2010 08:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Pie is always at the heart of everything that Wilson does.

Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading and commenting XD

Date: 06/07/2010 08:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] christikat.livejournal.com
The dialogue definitely sounded very IC. That was a fun read even though it was a hurtful experience for Wilson.

Date: 06/07/2010 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
I'm glad you found it IC. Best compliment possible. Woot....

Cheers for reading and commenting XD

Date: 06/07/2010 12:27 pm (UTC)
ext_14022: (house: happy blooper)
From: [identity profile] fleurione.livejournal.com
heeheeheee awesome :D it was in character. and the pie made me immensely pleased (as did the burning, of course!)

Date: 06/07/2010 07:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Everyone loves pie!! We need MOAR pie fics.

Glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading and commenting XD

Date: 06/07/2010 03:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawaii5063.livejournal.com

"Your sarcasm isn't as soothing as you think it is."

"And your idiocy isn't as endearing as you think it is."

LOL. Though I do find them both soothing and endearing. Very cute!

Date: 06/07/2010 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Glad you enjoyed it so much.

Cheers for reading and commenting XD

Date: 06/07/2010 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_slytherin_girl/
Pie! Seriously, there needs to be a Weebl and Bob episode about Wilson because they all love pie. I thought this was great. IC, great dialogue and lots of fun. :D

Date: 06/07/2010 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Would Wilson be Weebl? Cos he likes pie more than Bob doesn't he? Or could Wilson be Weebl's long lost brother or something?

I think I'm thinking about this too much...anyway.

I'm glad you enjoyed this. Thanks for reading XD

Date: 07/07/2010 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_slytherin_girl/
I think there's one of two possibilities. Either it would be a special episode and Weebl would play Wilson (like how he play Horatio Caine in CSI:Pie-ami) or Wilson would be a guest character who bonds with Weebl over their pie love. Both seem reasonable to me. :D

Date: 06/07/2010 05:34 pm (UTC)
ext_239415: (metaphor)
From: [identity profile] nanfreak.livejournal.com
Bwahaahahahahah!

Date: 06/07/2010 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
A most perfect reaction XD

Thanks for reading and commenting

Date: 06/07/2010 06:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alice-1005.livejournal.com
Awww, awesome. Very IC. Well done.

Date: 06/07/2010 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Thank you for the kind comment. Much appreciated.

And of course, thanks for reading XD

Date: 06/07/2010 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jezziejay.livejournal.com
What everybody else has already said + great!

Date: 06/07/2010 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Hehe. Thanks for the lovely comment XD

And cheers for reading and commenting :)

Date: 06/07/2010 09:22 pm (UTC)
ext_121721: Pinigir User Picture (House & Wilson)
From: [identity profile] pinigir.livejournal.com
LOL! That was great! I loved it! And, of course, Wilson keeps thinking of pie.

Date: 07/07/2010 06:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hibernia1.livejournal.com
You write the Classic House/Wilson, so awesome! Thanks so much for sharing, wow, I love this!

Date: 07/07/2010 09:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] petitecuriosity.livejournal.com
Wow...AMAZING dialogue. Felt like I was watching an episode. This is getting memmed. :)

Date: 10/07/2010 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lhoma320.livejournal.com
Wow! I loved all the detail you put into this and the dialog is perfect House/Wilson.

Some great lines "Wilson cringed as the cool water slid over the sensitive flesh on the palm of his hand."

"Your sarcasm isn't as soothing as you think it is."

"And your idiocy isn't as endearing as you think it is."

"Why do you have three first aid kits?"
LOL

I loved all the detail you put into getting the first aid kit, House messing with the bandaides, and Wilson asking for the anti-septic. There was so much detail it was almost like watching an episode. I could see everything going on. LOL

Thanks for sharing. :D

Date: 10/07/2010 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moose-mcmoose.livejournal.com
Aw thank you for the lovely comments!!

Thanks for reading and commenting. Tis much appreciated!! XD

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